I changed my mind.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Truth lately. That’s what I’d planned to write about today — how telling the Truth is so much more difficult than we pretend it is.

How we like to think of ourselves as honest, “good” people, but we live in a culture of lies. (Stick with me; it gets lighter pretty soon.) We’re taught to lie as soon as our preschool minds can discern what is True. Trained to say, “I’m sorry” when we’re not sorry, and “I’m fine” when we’re not fine. It gets worse from there, as we start saying we believe things we don’t believe, in order to fit in with the group, or get reelected, or get into heaven, or get more Instagram followers, etcetera.

Let’s be honest (hard as that is 😉): Truth-telling is not the norm.

I spent all afternoon yesterday crafting an essay about how self-deception works (an inescapable theme in the news these days). As a Recovering People Pleaser, I had to learn the hard way to recognize my own ninja-level style of lying, which for years felt like being easy-going, and doing the right thing, and turning the other cheek. My body knew the difference, but I’d been taught to ignore all of its signals. I’ve examined it closely, how this all transpired for me, culminating in divorce, cancer, a career change — basically a major life re-boot 15 years ago.

You would have been impressed with how I charted the progression of self-betrayal using a series of bullet points.

I was also gonna bring in our Great National Lie — white supremacy — and instead of pointing fingers at those bad people, challenge us all to make revolutionary change by becoming more honest in small, important ways, in our own lives.

But you know what? We’re emotionally spent already.

Let’s Do This Instead

All of that stuff I said up there matters, and I know you’re doing the work. So today let’s focus on JOY.

Yeah, JOY.

In our culture, taking time to feel JOYful is a rebellious act. I mean, it’s not even profitable! Who can you bill for it? Where’s the ROI?

Also, what about all the serious social justice work that needs to be done??

Here’s the thing: Besides telling the truth, finding JOY is about the most anti-white-supremacist thing I can think of to do. So let’s do more of it, Dear Rebel! Let’s do more stuff purely for the fun of it. Let’s find JOY today and every day, as an act of rebellion and because we need it.

(I’m going to keep putting JOY in all caps because just seeing the word makes me feel JOYful.)

In Case You’re Out of Practice . . .

You might be an excellent North American: Busy, busy, busy! No time to rest! No time for play!

Here are some tried-and-true ideas, in case you’re out of practice at having fun and feeling JOY:

• I showed you my flamenco practice floor last month. Dance breaks (alone, or with Mark in the kitchen) always work for me. Any style.

• Watching other people dance is good, too. Here’s a current fave. (She gets extra credit for singing, counting, and shouting jaleos while dancing.)

• Normally I do my morning yoga/Pilates/stretches/weird body movements in silence, but this morning Earth, Wind & Fire put a little funk in my planks!

• Hang a bird feeder up outside, then watch the show. Look for the swoopy dive as they approach. I love that!

• Plant anonymous bits of beauty in public — for example, leave a lovely painted rock someplace where strangers might notice it. Add some art to your front yard for the pleasure of passers-by. Extra credit if it’s interactive, or makes people chuckle.

• Place silly little things around your house, to crack yourself up. I’ve been doing this for years and it still works. 🤪(See photo below.)

• Add more candles and/or strings of lights to your space. Don’t forget to actually use them — no special occasion necessary. Small gestures purely for pleasure are the point.

• I used to think the goal of singing was to hit the right note at the right time. Recently I’ve noticed that the reverberation feels great in my body! Sonorous JOY.

• Search “babies laughing” online for an instant hit of dopamine.

• Creative expression is anti-white-supremacist as heck! Notice how oppressive regimes try to silence artists? It’s because of all that… truth-telling, and connection, and soul. Where white supremacy pushes an alarmist narrative of separation and division, we’ll slow down and bask in the benevolence of the Divine Creatrix, in all her many forms. Aaaaahhhhh. 💫

Bonus challenge: Try not to spend any money while finding your JOY. That’s next-level revolutionary!

Have We Been Here Before?

Yeah, I do have a vague memory of writing something like this last summer and fall, here and here and here, in fact. Oh, and we talked about it in this podcast episode, too. That’s ok. I won’t mind being accused of redundantly bringing JOY reminders to your inbox. 🤓Plus, everything I write to you can be taken as a “note to self” for me. Things can get heavy and complex up in my head sometimes, so I’m thankful my body felt the weight of where I was going with this post and nudged me back toward JOY instead.

Which is one of the beautiful things about JOY. Things don’t all need to be happy-go-lucky in your life to feel it. It’s still available in the midst of a pandemic and social injustice. Conspiracy theories can gobble up giant swaths of the population and still there is space for finding JOY.

And isn’t JOY also Truth? Now that I think about it, nothing points us straight to our interconnected Oneness as fast as JOY does. So there! I did write about Truth today, after all. 💥

What Are Your Favorite Ways?

I’d love to hear the ways that you bring JOY into your day, your home, your relationships, your work, your body. It’s a renewable resource and can’t be hoarded anyway, so please share!

Thank you for being here with me. In this disjointed time we’re living in, I’m grateful for the connection I feel right here through the virtual page.

Wishing you JOY as many times a day as you remember to find it. ❤️✨🙌🏽

Love,
Pam

_ _ _ _ _

P.S. The inaugural session of the Possibilities Lab is underway! Also, registration is now open for the next session, which begins in April. Exploring possibilities for bringing more JOY into your life is a legitimate reason to sign up. Click here for more info.

If you’re interested in the Lab but aren’t quite ready to take the leap, may I suggest a smaller investment? My book, Doodle Your Way Out of Stuckness, gently walks you through exercises and new ways of seeing just about everything. And it’s funny! That’s the most frequent comment I hear. Funny, useful, and — well, I describe it as both whimsical and meaty. I think you’ll like it. The digital version is an even smaller inve$tment.

P.P.S. Need to stock up on greeting cards for Valentine’s Day, birthdays, and anytime you want to send JOY through the mail? I’ve got options! Check ‘em all out here.