Hey friends, happy November!

I hung two strings of orange lights in my studio this week, not for Halloween but to remind myself that the veil is thin right now. That’s what a friend said recently, meaning that the separation between those of us still living and those who have transitioned to the other side is minimal at this time of year. It’s a great time to invite your ancestors back for a visit. Or at least re-watch the movie Coco. 🥰 #diadelosmuertos #rememberyourancestors

But today I want to talk about a more earth-bound, human-made type of transition: Retirement.

✋🏽Don’t flee if you’re too young to care or this topic feels stodgy and irrelevant.

✋🏽Please also stay if you carry fear and shame around this topic, because people have been telling you since you were in your 20s that you should be socking money away, and yet still you haven’t saved enough, and you’re worried that now it’s too late and you’ll never have enough, and you should have listened to those people, and now you’re screwed and it’s your own fault, and you’ll have to keep working forever, and you wish you were better with finances, and how come everyone else is so much more responsible than you?

If that’s the reel that plays in your head, I invite you to stick around, because I have some interesting questions for you. 😘

It Hasn’t Always Been This Way

I recently heard Tara Mohr, one of my online mentors, describe a tool she uses to shift out of overwhelm. It was in response to a physician who felt disheartened by the slow pace of change in her industry. Tara said when she feels daunted like that, she zooms out for historical context and reminds herself that all of our institutions are relatively new. Most of what we think of as “the way things are” are actually quite recent inventions, ones that arose out of happenstance and were slapped together in response to a need. That means they can also change — or be replaced entirely — in response to a new set of needs.

(It’s a useful practice to ask whose needs were being met when an institution or law was created. Was it senior citizens in poverty, like when Social Security was organized in the 1930s? Was it plantation owners and textile industry barons, like when chattel slavery was instituted in the 1600s?)

I use historical context much like Tara does, to envision how life was before things got to be “the way they are.”

Widening my perspective this way helps me to:
A) remember that just because we’re used to it doesn’t mean it’s the best way or the only way.
B) limber up my mind to see new (or ancient) solutions.
C) understand that people like you and me have the power to set changes in motion.

Case Study: State Lines

Here’s an example of this mentality in practice:

Yesterday a majority of voters in an eastern Oregon county said that they would prefer to become part of Idaho, since they feel more ideologically aligned with the people of Idaho than with the people of Oregon. The ballot measure is simply a statement of preference, and nothing will change materially unless a whole bunch of other things happen in the future. It is the eighth county in that part of the state to pass such a measure in recent years, however, so who knows? Maybe momentum is building.

I could hear this and think, “What!?! How can we let a chunk of Oregon split off?!? I like the current shape of our state — it’s what I’ve always known! Those people over there are crazy and must be stopped.”

Or I can wonder, as I have been, how things would be different if the state line moved. What would actually change? Would life get better for those voters who want it? Who might be negatively impacted?

And is it any different than when Mark and I daydream about a hypothetical state/province/country called Cascadia? Or maybe it would be called Salmon Nation: a region extending from the Bay Area through northern California, Oregon (at least the western part), Washington, and perhaps British Columbia. We didn’t invent this idea, but it has some appeal. Why? Because the humans, landscapes, and wildlife in those regions share a lot in common. Would Cascadia make less sense or more sense than the borders that exist now? Do borders make sense to anyone other than the people who assigned them? So many of us just blithely got used to their existence without knowing what they mean or why they are where they are.

We could continue, with discussions about statehood for Washington DC, or for Puerto Rico. The US has only had its current 50 states in their current shapes since 1959. We have a long history of shape-shifting — or rather, land-grabbing — prior to that. So instead, maybe it’s time to go the other direction, get smaller. What about ceding land back to the Indigenous people from whom our government stole it? Let’s think about what that could look like.

Change is the only constant, the saying goes. The more we can see our world as temporary and changing rather than fixed and permanent, the freer we can be to envision alternatives. Also, the more agile and prepared we are to handle the future, which — as the past 18 months have shown in graphic detail — is full of uncertainty.

So, About Retirement

While state lines feel abstract and not particularly urgent in 2021, retirement looms large in the minds of most of my peers. I see it causing a ton of stress.

Throughout our entire lives, the messages we receive about retirement are:
1. You must save for it. Like, seriously. Because you can’t depend on Social Security to still exist then, and the pension from your work, if you’re lucky enough to have one, won’t be enough.
2. The goal is to relax and play when you finally get there, because you deserve it after all that work you did! 🙌🏽✈️🌴⛳️🤿🛳🌄
3. But seriously, you can never be sure you’ll have enough money for it because life is uncertain, so you must spend your whole career planning for it, then spend your retirement worrying that you might run out of money, because you really can never know if you’ll have enough, because life is uncertain (remember? don’t forget that!), so you better keep saving more and working longer. Just in case. Because what if something happens??

(For a discussion about How much is enough? you can listen to this podcast episode from last year. For a conversation about living a life that is not defined by your job, you can listen to this podcast episode from last month. Oh, and for a brief history of retirement, I found this interesting Seattle Times article.)

Consider This Question

I’ve been thinking about the newness of the Retirement Industry. I actually thought I’d made up that term, but a search of “retirement industry” just turned up a whole host of magazines and articles and videos and resources — 535 million results, in fact — all about planning and saving money for those much-anticipated golden years. Retirement is a big freaking deal, and a very big business.

So instead of asking Have you saved enough? the question I’m posing is this: What conditions would need to be in place in our communities, in order for people to not need to plan and save for retirement?

Here are some other ways to phrase it:

• What if the entire Retirement Industry became obsolete? What would that society look like?

• How did communities take care of each other before “saving for retirement” became a thing?

• Whose idea was “retirement” anyway, and when/how did an entire industry spring up around it? Who is actually getting rich off of it, and who is getting sick with worry about it? Is this concept worth “buying into” (literally)?

• Do our senior citizens really benefit from the save-up-now-so-you-can-play-later model of living, or does it turn them into “olders” but not “elders”? (Elders have gained wisdom that they are called to pass on to younger generations. Olders are people who have simply… grown older.)

• Diseases have multiplied, as have the medications people seem to need, since this whole Retirement Industry sprouted up. A majority of seniors report feelings of isolation and depression. Could there be a correlation?

• Can you find examples of places where — right now in modern times — the concept of “retirement” does not exist, and yet the elders are healthy, productive, integrated members of society? What is their lifestyle, and what can we learn that could be applied to our own lives?

• What specific contributions could you make to a community — talents, skills, services — well into your “golden years”? Can you imagine a scenario where those things are valued as part of a local economy of shared resources? How might making that important contribution impact your health and well-being? How would it feel to be a cherished, contributing member right up to your death?

That’s Your Homework ⬆️

Yeah, that was a lot, so I’m going to stop and let you ponder whichever of those questions resonate with you. If you feel stuck, look up “Blue Zones” for some inspiration. ✨

For extra credit, you can extend this thought experiment to imagine a world where insurance is no longer needed. (I know, right? Paradise!)

As a disclaimer, I want to clearly state that I am not advising you to ditch your retirement plans. I am, however, challenging you to see them through a different lens. I started this piece by mentioning the thin veil between the living and the dead at this time of year. Maybe it’s an apt time to consider how we’ll spend our years left among the living. What kind of resource will we be for younger folks now, while on earth? What about when we’ve become ancestors ourselves?

Thanks for Coming to Class 🤓📝📚

Thank you for playing along. I’m having fun and being intellectually and creatively stimulated through this offering of heART❤️SCHOOL. I hope you are, too. And to help keep us on track, here’s a review of how it works:
> I begin each module with the podcast episode (SOUND) on the 23rd of the month. Then I send a written (WORDS) post on the 3rd, and a PICTURES post on the 13th to wrap up the module. Then we begin a new theme with the next podcast episode. (The different modalities keep me on my toes and inspired. It took me nine years to figure out a schedule that works for me, so I’m sticking with it.)
> So far we’ve had Agency, Rituals, and now Transitions (and Trust) as our month-long themes.
> The themes are going to spell out an acronym, so if you’re a fan of mysteries, well then, stay tuned!
> There’s homework, but it’s not graded. 😉
> heART❤️SCHOOL will continue through May 2022 in this same format.

You can look at past blog posts here, and past podcast episodes here. You can also subscribe to the podcast — the Accidental Muralist — on Apple Podcasts.

In case you missed it, here’s my conversation with Elena Consear Ramos (my older daughter) and her BFF Teresa Fabbricino, two 28 year-olds who are definitely on their way to becoming elders! In it we talk about bucking the cultural norm that says our job and salary determine how valuable we are as humans. We discuss ways we each stay tuned into our intuition so that we can rely on it for making life decisions, and more. Again, you can find it here.

Last But Not Least

I always love hearing from you, so don’t hesitate to drop a line. And please share these posts with your friends! People sometimes tell me, “I loved your last blog post and it made me think of my sister. Is it ok if I send it to her??” and they say it with a guilty-looking face as though they might be offending me. And I’m like, “Yes, please! Are you kidding me? You are doing me both a huge favor and a great honor!” So that’s how I feel about you sharing my work with your people. 👍🏽You officially have my permission, for always.

Love,
Pam

P.S. You’ve noticed that some items are out-of-stock on store shelves, right? But guess what item is fully in stock? My book: Doodle Your Way Out of Stuckness! I’ve got plenty of copies to get us through the holiday season, so keep that in mind while you’re making your list. Take a look and order yours here. (Portlanders, you can also pick up a copy at the Rose City Book Pub.)

On that topic, do you know a place that might want to have copies of my book available for sale? Like a boutique or cafe or super cool business that values local artists and handmade things? If so, please let them know about it, and let me know about them! 🙏🏽😘

⬆️ That button is part of my experiment to try less capitalistic models of exchanging value. You like my work? You get inspired by my blog posts or my podcast? Consider “buying me a coffee” (which is a $3 donation for my efforts). But only do it if it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I don’t want it to feel like a “should.” I offer this work freely, without expectation of payment. If you want to join my experiment, I ask also that what you’re offering is freely given and makes you feel great. ❤️ Then it’s a win-win.